Of Course I Hear Voices: I Own Parrots

As I sat awake in bed last night, there were many things going through my head: getting everything done for my brother's wedding, the house, making a firm deadline for the auction of the house, my sister and how that will effect her, and suddenly a thought popped into my head: You know, I might not go to Ohio for Thanksgiving. I'm not sure where that came from, and possibly more frightening: I thought Ohio...not home. On 9/20/2001, I packed up the car and moved to Indianapolis. I didn't have a plan. I really didn't even have a place to live. I was just taking the opportunity to get out of Woodville and Northwest Ohio. Almost ten years later, I am still here. I always still referred to Ohio has home because that is where my parents were. I guess * technically* they still are there, but it very obviously isn't the same. By the end of the year, we will not even have a "family home" (btw: this is a good thing. I'm seriously looking forward to one less ...

It isn't quite fall yet, but it is quickly approaching. Fall, by far is my favorite season...well until it gets really cold.   Here's why: I dress for fall year round...at least now it is appropriate Perfect running weather Sweater boots Heeled Boots My dark nail polish is in season The leaves changing color Halloween Hot apple cider (with or without spiced rum) Its socially acceptable to be paleish Football season

Even when things suck, the dream of something better is what keeps me going. There has to be something to look forward to, even if it is something little. Even one good day can be enough to keep that little bit of hope alive. Ask me anything

You would think I was gone for a week...not less than 30 hours. They will sulk up there and give me the cold shoulder for a while.  One or two might hold a grudge and start knocking things over...because you know they have it so hard here.

All the makings of a perfect storm: 1) Hours of Sleep: 0 2) Pain level of headache: Hurts to keep eyes open 3) My already somewhat numb yet overwhelmed state. 4) Hey Jennifer Meterion didn't send us this paperwork can you send it to us? 5) Hey Jennifer, good news, we are doing X with the trust, bad news we haven't processed your probate paperwork because of Y 6) Hey Jennifer, I have to talk to you about this mess that isn't yours, but we know you are cleaning up. 4,5 and 6 happened within about 45 minutes of each other.  I was nearly ready to kick kittens. Then I remembered: football is on tonight...and tomorrow is not just a day off, but a day where I get my hair and my nails done (2 things I do just for me). They may not be big things, but they are little things that make me smile, maybe laugh and feel a little bit more human than I do on a daily basis. 

Dear Lawrence Library Staff-- I understand why you bought the creepy arse life sized  card board cut out of Edward from the Twilight movies. Yeah I get that the Twilight books are this huge sensation, and for some reason throngs of people love them and the movies they have spawned. Really, I do.This isn't a "Why the Twilight series is utter crap" post (it is a bit late in the game for that. I really wouldn't have anything totally original to say). Still, I think you have crossed the line. However, it was scary enough when you were keeping "Edward" in the Library Classroom. Every time I walked into that room, that damn cut out scared me. It was even worse if I was alone and the one turning on the light. I knew it was there, but it still was creepy enough. Now, it is ridiculous. You have it out in the entry way with a sign on how to use a print card. Every time I walk by your sliding glass door, I can see it in all it's awkwardly creepy glory. I'm ...

Most ( ok I can only speak for me, and my friends who have daughters) have a special bond that I can't really explain. I know that I was my father's world when I look at these: Fact: we are probably watching football first Christmas...and my own Santa Live Nativity scene...in the cold.... I'm finally home (we had to stay at the hospital for a while since I decided to be a July baby, not a September baby) No matter how old I was, or how sick he  was I was always his baby girl. You saw it when I stormed into his room and ordered him to get better (after the tornado)...because at that moment he chose to fight. You saw it when he refused to let me give up my life here in Indy and move back to Ohio. You saw it when I arrived at the hospital on that Thursday night and his vitals went up. You saw it when he would panic whenever I would leave his side that Saturday night at Hospice. It is the reason I wouldn't let him out of my sight that Saturday ni...

I may not get to do Halloween this year. I am beyond disappointed. It is the last of my "favorite" holidays that I doesn't make me sad anymore.  Yes...it is for my brother's wedding, so I shouldn't complain too much. Still, I couldn't help myself from looking at costumes. I know I was Alice 2 years ago, but I was thinking of doing things a little differently this year: I think I might like the first one the best. Although the second one comes with the gloves...I already have shoes and/or boots, and I would just use my own hair.

I heard this song on the way home today: It's a song I have been listening too all summer...just because it is so catchy and well I love Pink.  Today it really reminded me of building walls. We build walls to keep people out. We build walls to keep ourselves safe. In my life, they have certainly been a necessary evil. Sometimes you just need a little space, to keep some secrets, or to be a little sheltered from the elements. Walls also have their challenges. They can't protect you from everything. Sometimes you just aren't ready to let it down, even though there is hope it will turn out okay. If you take it down too soon, things may go very badly. Sometimes you just have to play things by ear...and if you are on the other side of the wall: be patient. 

Fear is an amazing emotion. It can motivate you. It can hinder you. It can make you into something you hate. It can make you a better person.  Yes, it can do good things and bad things, and it is much easier to let the bad things win. It takes an effort and sometimes an extraordinary amount of drive to overcome it. It takes virtually nothing to let it consume you.  I have a laundry list of things I fear, and recently it has been really hard to not let those things get me down. It is easy to let the insecurities win out when you feel lost. Still, it all comes down to a choice. Some of the insecurities may even be true, but even with that there is still a choice. I can let it overwhelm me, or I can face it and fight it. I decided last weekend ( as I mentioned on here Monday ) to fight it. I just didn't realize what I was choosing to do. I decided to stop letting my sadness, loneliness  and anxiety run my life, but the underlying cause of those negative feelings...

It is another nursing application deadline. It is exciting, and a bit stressful as all the last minute testers try to get in and test high enough to get into the program. It is like a much more intense late registration. These students many times have their future plans on the line. They have come to school to be a nurse, and they have to test well to get into our program. It is easy to get annoyed with these last minute testers. They can be rude, unprepared, and fail to listen to basic directions (IE "what calculator can I use" after they have been told and theoretically they have read 3 times, AND signed that they understood that calculators are prohibited). They break rules, act entitled and a very select few throw temper tantrums. Some of that can be wiped away by the joy that students find when they know they tested well, or even that they tested high enough to apply. Those are the happy moments. The hardest moments are when the student tests below the cut off, o...

If I had to choose to be one kind of critic, it would have to be a film critic. I love books. I love to read and write; however, film would be my first choice . I love movies. I like looking at how the film was put together: the writing, the editing, the acting, the continuity etc. It is more of an obsession than it probably should be. Sometimes I think about how I would do it if it were my movie. It is really a creative thing for me sometimes. I could enjoy doing that full time, or even part time. Until then I will have to be content with doing this from my couch.

We are: Loud (well more so they are loud and I am loudish) Usually making trouble Many times the center of attention Typically too cute This could be our theme song: They are: The people that make my life fun Like family The people that are there for me when it all falls apart Have seen me without eye make up People I would do anything for

1) A vacation...a nice long vacation. I have almost 2 months of vaca saved why not enjoy it? 2) For my friends and family to be happy 3) To be able to take better care of the people in my life. Ask me anything

I made these: Each one took time and patience. Some were made just because I was bored. Others, I set out to make something I thought was fun. It may not appeal to you...and that is fine. Some of my work is dark.Others are black and white, distressed,  focal black and white. It just depends on my mood, and what I want to make on any given day.  That is the best part of this hobby. I'm not in this for the money. I do this for fun. It is like my blog, I can make it into anything I want. I'm not trying for fame. I'm just doing something I love, sharing it with others, and hoping at least some of you like it. It is one of the things I selfishly just do for me.  As I have been going through all my old pictures (working on my portfolio), I am reminded of how much fun I had making these odd edits. I can't wait to start doing it again. Making a portfolio is time consuming, and I'm not looking for much to come from it, but it is still something that can make me pr...

This Week's Prompts 1.) Write a post about a childhood memory as if you're in that moment again...from the perspective of yourself as that child. 2.) Write about a time you disappointed yourself. 3.) Your first panic attack. 4.) Your Grandma's story. 5.) The 10 Dos and Don'ts of Airplane Etiquette. This week's winner: 5.) The 10 Dos and Don'ts of Airplane Etiquette. I love to travel. I wish I could afford to do it more. I wish more of my friends could travel with me. I think it is awesome to be able to get away and relax. Over the years, I have learned a few rules to live by while flying the friendly skies.  Do be prepared for the worse case scenario. You will be delayed. You will get a bad seat. If you have kids, they will misbehave. If you are childless you will sit near the worse behaved child on the plane...ok it might *not* happen but be prepared for if it does. Don't wait until right before you board the plane to check for essential ...

Trying something new. Check out One Minute Writing How much can you write in a minute? My most "aware" sense is my hearing. I guess that is why words mean so much to me. I know some of it is that I am an auditory learner (from my dyslexia).

Last Tuesday I came home after my run and my wi fi wasn't working. I checked the router, nothing was getting power. Actually, none of my appliances on that wall were working. I checked out the circuit breaker box and one was tripped. I unplugged everything reset the circuit, plugged every thing back in and the only thing that didn't come back on was the dvr/cable box.  I just figured it was fried and didn't think  much more of it. I keep the entertainment stand covered because the baby birds chew on the cords. I had never caught one of them back there, so I never put it together. The next day, it was working again. Yesterday, it stopped working again, but this time I saw one of them fleeing the scene. I looked and I found this: Basically, one of them should have fried when they blew the circuit...but instead they survived to terrorize me another day. You would think anything this cute couldn't be  *that* evil but I assure you they are little feather bag...

. I am so not a morning person. I'm much more alert and thrive at night. Most mornings I am pretty much in zombie mode for a few hours. Ask me anything

I'm not a fan of Mondays...who really is. For some reason though I'm ready for this one. I'm exhausted (were talking about maybe 8 hours of sleep since Thursday). I'm sore. I'm worried. I'm scared.  I feel like I have done something wrong, but I can't figure out what. I'm stressed about my trip home at the end of the week (and dreading doing it solo).  For some reason, none of that matters this morning. I guess my new perspective is working. I had more time than I would have liked to think this weekend. Some of it was very productive. Some of it just made me feel worse. Mostly, it made me realize all I can do is face each day like I did before the tornado. Love my family even when they are making me twitchy Love my friends, because really they are my family too Take care of the people in my life Do my job the best I can and not let the little things distract me Do everything I can to ensure the people in my life are happy. Seeing them happy ...