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Showing posts from February 15, 2011

Shut Up and Listen

Over the past 8 months, one phrase has become a staple "Shut up and listen." This is internally and externally.

There is the obvious external part: Since day one we have had people telling us what we should do. Some people just wanted to help. Other people were just being self centered and ignorant. Just last week, my father was back in the hospital. A person who I thought would be empathetic only wanted to tell me what I "needed" to do and how I was wrong about things this person knew nothing about. Not cool.

I'm going to let everyone in on a big secret: When people are having a bad day or going through a rough time, if they want advice  they will ask for it. Really, what they usually want is for you to STFU and listen.This is especially true when you don't know the whole story. I get that you did *fill in the blank* for your loved one, but you are not us. We have a whole additional can of worms to deal with. Our situation may be no worse than yours, but …

Valentines Musings

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Maybe I am old fashioned, but I do not hate Valentines Day. I am not big into celebrating, but it isn't all bad. Yes, I have been known to say "Why Valentines Day is bad" but it may not be in the way you think.

Black Baccara rose
  While I think it is crazy to spend tons of money in an elaborate display of love, I don't hate the day. I don't think it is a "Hallmark" Holiday. It may be over commercialized for my taste, but it works for some people and that is all that matters.



Hallmark didn't make this holiday. There was a pagan festival the Christian church wanted to do away with so they attached St. Valentine to one of the dates and made it more wholesome. Blame Rome for that, not Hallmark.



If you choose not to celebrate, that is your call. If you are single, you don't have to be bitter and miserable. Love comes in all kinds. While you may not have romantic love, you can always share your love with your friends and family.

My Hometown

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I moved away almost a decade ago, and I never had any intention of going back. I will never live there again (despite owning a house there now), but my perception of the town has changed.


When I was growing up my hometown was a jail cell. I hated it there. I hated being an outsider. I hated that everyone knew my business. felt trapped and judged by those deemed popular. I longed for bigger and better things, and my parents were not surprised when I packed up and headed to Indianapolis the first chance I had.



I still do not want to live in my hometown. I have become accustomed to city life. I'm not a fan of having to drive 15-20 minutes away to get caffeine after 11:00. I like that the grocery store is open past 8. I like that going to the store without make up on won't be city wide gossip within the hour. Really, the list could go on and on.



However, there is one thing a small town offers that bigger communities just can't: community support. There is just something abou…