Of Course I Hear Voices: I Own Parrots

Dear Attention Span: I know I haven't treated you well. All the Sesame Street and MTV we watched in my youth did substantial damage.Still, you hung in there for many years. We even made it all the way through college. Now I feel like you are slipping away. Maybe it is because I don't sleep. Maybe it is because I'm always working on something. I don't know, but I miss you. 1) I get bored way too easily. 2) Somedays I just can't seem to get my focus. Like today, I am working on our finals schedule. Admittedly, it isn't the most exciting thing, but it has been hard to stay on task. My mind won't stop running. I'm not worrying or thinking about things I *should* be concerned about. Oh no. It is just random distractions. One second I'm figuring how many students we can test in one day. The next I'm trying to see if I can swing a long weekend in May to go to a concert (which I can't btw..so sad). Don't get me wrong. Part of my (what we...

There  are few things I am totally certain about anymore. Before our accident, I thought I was starting to make sense of things. I thought I knew who I was, and what I deserved. I thought that maybe I had a chance to be normal person. Yeah, all the things I wanted for myself at 20 never came true, but maybe at 30 I could make it happen. Then life happened. Now there are *TONS* of things I don't know. Many of which are covered pretty extensively on this blog. We won't go there today. More importantly, the three things I do know are the ones that keep me going. I'm not the same person I was before. I am just not. I'm not sure if it is better or worse, but I am finally accepting that I have changed. I may never have the things I dreamed of when I was in college. I won't be normal. I may never deserve the life I thought I could have before the accident.  Occasionally, it is okay to be selfish. I'm not saying I am going to run out and be a self absorbed PIA. ...

Sleep? What's Sleep? I really do not sleep well. I have a hard time falling asleep. Between tons of stuff on my mind and my back being sore I guess I just can't settle down enough.Once it does happen, I usually only sleep for a hour or so. It is nice sometimes because it means I can get more things done. Other times it is rough because I am mentally exhausted, but just can't rest. Every few weeks I have one day where I totally crash.. Ask me anything