Showing posts from December 29, 2011


Christmas Eve was great,  but there was that little nagging feeling. That feeling that something was missing. No matter how hard I tried, that feeling kept getting bigger as the day went on. Of course the inevitable awkward conversation did rear its head ("why aren't you going to your parents' for Christmas), and even that didn't bother me as much as that sinking feeling in my heart. Still I smiled, laughed and had fun until I had to drive home alone.

I cried from Pendelton to Fishers.

I cried harder when I couldn't find a store that was open to buy shrimp.

I cried all the way home, totally lost it when the life insurance check was in my mailbox, and cried all night when I should have been sleeping.

I cried some more the next morning, and if I had wanted to I probably could have cried all day.

Instead I made a choice. I chose that from that moment on, it was all about making this an amazing Christmas.  No more tears. No more feeling sorry for myself. I was going t…