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Showing posts from June 20, 2009

Why Must I get Wasted on my Birthday

Why Must I Get Wasted on my Birthday? I’m turning 30 on 7/16. I’m trying to not let this depress me too much. Sometimes I am successful, other times not so much. It is going to happen whether I like it or not, so I have decided (in my infinite wisdom) to just try and make the best of it. I have taken the whole week off of work. This is to mainly just relax and enjoy myself, and because I know I will be having at least one emotional break down over that another decade in my life is over and there is so much I have not accomplished. I’m a girl. I will have a stupid girl moment, and I would prefer not to have that happen at work. Plus it is rally the last time I can take time off before August. We are not allowed to take time off in August because of peak (aka LATE) registration. Really, all I want for my birthday is a typical Thursday night at Bucky’s and for my friends to be there. Now when I invite people out and tell them why I want them there, the first words out of their mouths are:

Only in dreams

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I usually do not remember my dreams, but when I do they are usually very vivid and very realistic...and most times almost haunting. Actually, it isn't the details I remember more as the feelings and only flashes of the images remain. Recently, my dreams have either been weird mixes of people and situations in my life. They never quite make sense. Sometimes they are just strange. Other times they are haunting. I wake up feeling unsettled. It isn't always that they are traditional nightmares. Sometimes they are just too real, and waking up is either a let down or just to weird. Two nights ago I seriously only netted 45 minutes of sleep, but the dream in that 45 minutes was so real. It was one of those dreams where things aren't perfect, but you have the things you most desperately want In my case I was working from home (down to 2 jobs vs 4), and I had someone else to help when I needed it. I don't know if I will ever have either of those. I had just made the decision e