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Showing posts from May 23, 2011

What Do You Want

Coming off of last weekend, I have some major conflicting feelings. I know some of this has to do with the one year anniversary of the accident looming on the horizon. I also know some of this has to do with my lack of sleep and I know I'm always a little more paranoid when  haven't slept.  However, this is bugging me enough I have to say it out loud.

There are a few parts of my life that are making me nervous...in some cases (or one case really) scared.

I think Michelle Branch says it best in her song "Goodbye to You": It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time.

I am facing several situations where I know exactly what I want. I may even think I deserve everything I want. However,  the final verdict isn't in my hands. All I can do is back off, wait and hope for nothing.

Yes: Hope for nothing.

Why? Because hoping for what I want makes it real. It takes a situation that will already suck if I don't get what I want and makes it worse. Once I start …