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Showing posts from April 22, 2011

Feeling Numb

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I miss feeling like me. I miss feeling normal. I miss the person I used to be. I know the person I used to be figuratively died almost a year ago. I know I have said this before, but until now I didn't know what was missing.

I feel numb.It is this empty feeling, and nothing I have found so far will fill it up. Yes, many things have gotten better. I cry less. I'm grateful to have a second chance at life (and have way less of the "I seriously lived so this could be my life?" moments). I'm moving forward, but the numbness stays. I'm not looking for butterflies and rainbows here. I just wish I could feel an emotion (happy or sad) like I used to on a regular basis.

I thought I knew what was missing, and actually I was sort of right. I just didn't have a full grasp on why I was feeling this way.

Then I read this by Erika Napoletano: All That We Love

Suddenly the light bulb went off. The only times I don't feel numb are when I am being impractical.

It is the…