Of Course I Hear Voices: I Own Parrots

Pick the one with the complimemtary happy hour

Today (well tomorrow...depending on when you read this.) I will be coming out of retirement of sorts. I will start taking pictures for "Belt it Out" (aka the contest formerly known as Indy I*o* until we got a cease and desist letter earlier this week...no I'm not kidding). I used to take all the contest pictures. Actually, I took pictures all the time. I loved it. I loved taking the pictures and all the editing that came with it. Then I just stopped. I'm not sure why, but it just didn't make me nearly has happy as it used to. In the last contest, I was  running the second computer, so pictures were sort of out of the question. This time around, pictures will all I will be doing each week. I think it will be fun for the contestants to see shots from each week on our Facebook page. I just hope I can get back on my A Game for this opportunity. I want it to be something I get joy from. I'm hoping that it will live up to that expectation. I want that cre...

I no longer have a land line phone. I ditched my land line when I moved to my current apartment. For a good year before that, I stopped answering that phone. I figured I never gave anyone that number and if by some chance someone still had it and wasn't calling my cell, they would leave a message. Basically, I was sick of these phone calls: Telemarketer: Hi are either of your parents there? Me: Um no.... Telemarketer: Do you know when they *will* be home. We have called several times now and they never seem to be around. Me: Um well they were were a couple weeks ago, but I have no idea when they will be back. Telemarketer: A couple weeks ago? Me: Yes. Telemarketer: Um okay.... Yes to quote the No Doubt song I have sang so many times on karaoke: It's all your fault, I screen my phone calls. This wasn't some stalker, but I was over the telemarketers. They called ALL the time.The only solace I could take in any of this, is that  I never really had to listen to th...

The things I worry about...not all these all the time (because holy geez that would need some therapy), but if something is bothering me it is typically one of these things: Have you ever wished most of the last year of your life never happened? Have you ever looked at your friends and wondered: How in the hell am I supposed to compete with that? Have you ever worried that the next phone call you get about your dad being the worst thing you could hear? Have you ever wondered if you are doing what is right for your family? Have you ever wondered when it is your turn to get what you want? Have you ever wished you knew how to take away someone's pain? Have you ever wondered if they would miss you if you were gone? Have you ever realized part of who *you* were is gone, and you can never get that part of you back? Have you ever missed the person you used to be? Have you ever been afraid to hope for what you want? Have you ever been afraid to follow your own heart? ...

  At 18 I really thought I had my whole life planned out. I was going to college. While at college, I was going to meet the man I was going to marry. We would graduate and get married. I would find a job writing for a local television station. He would get promoted and we would move to some fun city with an obscene cost of living. We would live either in a little apartment or find the perfect old house. I was going to be able to quit my job and write full time (books, blogs whatever) and make enough $ to do it full time. We were both going to be successful. It was going to be perfect. My priorities were clear. Almost 14 years later, this is very obviously not the case. Life happened. Choices were made. Some good things changed my path along with some very bad things. I went to college. I did not meet the man I was going to marry at school. Actually, I'm not married. I might not ever get married. In which case I already am well on my way to being the crazy bird lady:...

On May 21, I am attending Methodist Theological Seminary of Ohio's Commencement. My mother was a student there, and she would have graduated this May. The college has decided to award her a posthumous degree. This is very kind, and we are honored they have decided to do this. Today I was trying to  figure out my plan for that day, when it occurred to me: What does one wear to accept a degree for their mother (who died nearly a year ago)? Well black doesn't seem fitting (and there goes half my wardrobe) It cannot be too short It cannot be to low cut (there goes most of the rest of my wardrobe). So what are my options? Very obviously this is not going to work: Maybe something like this, but not in Black? This had potential...until I noticed those were skulls not polka dots This has potential Then I was distracted by this (but....it is on sale!!) Okay...more like this? I just don't know...any suggestions?

Senior year of high school: If you were to go into the parking lot at my high school, you would find many nice new and nice used cars in the lot that various parents had bought for their children. About halfway back in the middle row, parked between 2 *much* nicer cars, you would find my eye sore: my 1986 Ford Escort (mind you I graduated in 1997).  She was gold with red "racing stripes." She was well rusted. In theory, she was fuel injected, but she wouldn't stay started unless you pumped the gas pedal and applied a little bit of pressure after starting her up. The heater: was a joke. I could start the car, make my brother scrape the windows (this actually made him so mad he *stopped* riding to school with me...but hey I was driving AND someone had to keep their foot on the gas pedal to keep the car running), and then make the 10-20 minute drive to the next town over (where my high school was located) and my heater would kick on about 2-5 minutes before we arrived ...

When I went away to college, one of the agreements I made with my parents was no piercings and no tattoos (BTW I am the only child that kept that promise...Adam got in a MAJOR fight with mom about it and had to take his piercing out though). It is only fitting that one of the last things Mom and I did together was go to get my cartilage pierced. I was home last Memorial Day weekend. Amy's car was dead. Adam's was in the shop. Both of them AND my mom were using the CRV. Adam took the CRV to work that Monday, and I had taken Amy to work (at Claires). I had been contemplating getting my cartilage re pierced ( I had it done once when I first moved to Indy, but I had taken it out and it healed quickly). My sister offered to do it for me and use her discount (remember: She works at Claires). I was going to early to pick her up from work and while I was there have her take care of my ear. Mom didn't have to go with me, but last minute she decided to come. We piled in to t...

Two weekends ago, I went out to our one Friday night karaoke show. I put in Liz Phair's Everything to Me, but when they called me to the mic, it was this song instead:                           (um yeah if you are easily offended...you might want to skip the video...the radio version is Less than Perfect by Pink) I told the guys I didn't know the song well enough to sing it (which was true), and they of course gave me crap for it. They made me promise to learn the song for the next weekend. I wasn't sure why they wanted me to learn it. Yeah, I sing Pink songs, and maybe they just wanted to hear me curse into the microphone. Then I actually listened to the words, and I suddenly had a revelation: this song was so me. I'm sure many of you can come up with various reasons of why the song is me. There are few that come to mind. Literally, if you look at the video there is that comparison. No, I never cut myself or shop ...

I spent 3 days hidden away in the west Chicago suburbs at the annual Midwest Region COMPASS conference.  There are many things I learned, and moments that I will not soon forget. Here are the highlights: Lesson learned: Being "work me" 24/7 for 2.5  days is really hard.  Again this year finding people to hang out with after hours (after my co-workers went to bed) was a challenge. I'm not saying this is the venue to get out and party, but when everyone goes to bed at 10 it is a little disconcerting. I'm relatively certain our ACT rep (Tim) looks forward to seeing what color my hair will be each time he sees me (it as been different each time in the past 5 years). The hotel is on the grounds of McDonalds corporate headquarters and "Hamburger University." The hotel used to be owned by McDonalds and used only for employees, but now it is owned by Hyatt. Still the Mcdonalds influence shows through out the hotel. They have classic pieces of art that have b...

I warn you now....this isn't pretty, but the best I could do on short notice. The Prompt:  Bonus Vlog Option! 6.) Tell us the story behind the title of your blog. What is it? What inspired it? What other options did you consider? Are you happy with it?

I arrived home last night in a good mood. The night hadn't been what I had expected, but I had a good time with my friends. All was good in the world, until shortly after I crawled into bed. This whole first Easter without mom hadn't bugged me one bit until that very moment. What set me off? A Damn Chocolate Bunny. Of all the things Easter represents, and all the memories I have of the holiday it was candy that I never ate that made me cry. Awesome. When I first moved to Indianapolis, we started doing Easter here. The family would come up Saturday and we would make dinner here on Sunday. Every year  mom would come bearing a Lindt Bunny. Every year that bunny would get put in a drawer and eventually thrown out. I like chocolate. I really do, but it is something I really try to cut out of my diet. Once mom got her own church the Easter visits stopped. However, the next time I saw mom there was always a Lindt Bunny waiting for me. Even last year, I didn't make it home un...

I miss feeling like me. I miss feeling normal. I miss the person I used to be. I know the person I used to be figuratively died almost a year ago. I know I have said this before, but until now I didn't know what was missing. I feel numb.It is this empty feeling, and nothing I have found so far will fill it up. Yes, many things have gotten better. I cry less. I'm grateful to have a second chance at life (and have way less of the "I seriously lived so this could be my life?" moments). I'm moving forward, but the numbness stays. I'm not looking for butterflies and rainbows here. I just wish I could feel an emotion (happy or sad) like I used to on a regular basis. I thought I knew what was missing, and actually I was sort of right. I just didn't have a full grasp on why I was feeling this way. Then I read this by Erika Napoletano: All That We Love Suddenly the light bulb went off. The only times I don't feel numb are when I am being impractical. ...

Dear Blackberry Curve: I wish it hadn't come to this, but I think it is just about time for us to part ways. I know, we have only been in business for a year, but I am just not happy with the service you have provided me. Yes, I was so excited to get you. My "refurbished" old curve just wasn't cutting the mustard anymore. Now I fear you have fallen into that same category. I don't mean to complain, and I hate to be a "laundry lister," but you: 1) Constantly clock or lock up (sometimes mid phone call or message) 2) You crash every couple days. 3) Sometimes it takes multiple reboots to get you to work right 4) You take crappy pictures. 5) I'm supposed to be able to tether with you, but you never work. I understand, some of this may not be totally your fault. I will be the first to admit, I cannot remember your where abouts during the accident. I had my purse in my lap as I was frantically trying to find my phone after we saw the tornado. W...

I 'll be the first to admit, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. I didn't hate my job, but I was to the point where I couldn't grow in it anymore. I was bored, and I felt like I could do so much more at the college. I had applied for several promotions (most of them in Student Services) and I never made it far. I would sometimes get an interview, other times I wouldn't, but the phone call from HR was always the same. Every time it happened, I became more and more discouraged. I had even started interviewing outside the college. I didn't really want to leave, but I was running out of options. Then one day my boss told me that one of the people at Lawrence had taken a job in a another department. She mentioned that we would probably need to got out there (probably rotating) to help Carolyn. They had just hired a new part timer, but with Taranae leaving that left Carolyn to train the part timer and run the lab. A few days later, her (my boss's) boss c...

I blame this post on my sister who recently bought "The Emperor's New Groove" on DVD...and then telling us all about it on Facebook. She reminded me of the night we (my brother, sister, and my sister's friend/pastor's daughter) went to see it in the theater. The siblings and I are admittedly suckers for *most* Disney movies. I'm pretty sure the whole reason we wanted to see it was  this scene: Pacha : Uh-oh.   Kuzco : Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall.   Pacha : Yep.   Kuzco : Sharp rocks at the bottom?   Pacha : Most likely.   Kuzco : Bring it on.   It sort of mirrored our family's luck and well it is a pretty awesome scene. While I was home for Christmas, we decided we were going to see the movie. Jenn (my sister's friend/pastor's daughter) spent tons of time with us that break, so we invited her to come along. We picked a day and time, and we were ready to go. All week long we looked forward to our movie ...

After 2 days of Mucinex, Excedrin Migraine, tons of water, and just choosing to focus on something else, my headache pretty much took me out of the game today. It didn't put me down for the count, but I'm just now feeling better after a day of living like a bat and not getting nearly as much done as planned. It all started Friday. I woke up with a 2 front headache: Sinus pressure in the maxillary sinuses and a tension headache from the knot in my shoulder. Basically, the two sets of pain meet behind my eyes.  I lost some ground Friday morning, but I  had too much to do. I was amazed by what a few drugs, water, and focusing on what needed to be done could do. That night, I was going to stay in and recover, but I decided to go out instead. It was amazing how focusing on my friends and having fun made the pain tolerable.  Saturday, worked both jobs and that kept me distracted from the  headache that typically would have set me back a bit. The only difference was this...

I used to love the rain. I loved to watch and listen to thunderstorms. It was a simple pleasure, but the rain relaxed me. I enjoyed the lightning. Even the thunder was a welcome sound. Now I didn't  like driving in the rain at night because my night vision sucks and the rain made it worse, but that was a downfall that was easy to deal with. Now I hate the rain, and I abhor thunderstorms. It has been almost a year, but both give me an anxiety I can't shake. It has gotten better, but it is a fear I can't seem to shake. Of course all this is made worse by being in a car. Driving in the rain, makes me anxious. Driving in a storm, makes me nauseous. I guess if both didn't mess with my ability to see, it wouldn't be as bad. I hate not being able to see what is in the road ahead of me. I don't like surprises. The bigger issue is: what I see in flashes of lightning. On the night of the accident, you could only see the tornado when the lightning would flash. Otherwis...

Courtesy of the writing prompt generator over at Mama Kat's. I have chronic insomnia. It started intermittently in junior high, and it was full blown by the end of my freshman year in high school. For years, I was drinking my weight in caffeine and going like the Energizer Bunny. I really was like Abby from NCIS and her Kaf Pow, but my poison was Dr. Pepper or Cherry Coke (whichever was readily available).  I remember being back stage at musical rehearsals with a 2 liter (yes a 2 liter) of Dr Pepper. I didn't drink it all in one night, but still it wasn't healthy. In college, a waiter at a restaurant we frequented just started bringing me my diet coke in 1 liter juice carafe. When I worked at Keynote, you could judge my day by how many cans of cherry coke were in my trash can. When we were on the road, I was usually driving, and was constantly caffeinating to keep on top of things. Of course this lead to me being jittery and cranky. My stomach hated me and pretty much a...

I am a bit of a TV snob. Most days if the TV is on, it is just for back ground noise. I have very few shows I *must* watch, and even less that would watch for hours on end. That is why my love for Law and Order Criminal Intent totally confuses me. I know I shouldn't  like the show, but I can't stop watching. It is like Burn Notice: I know it is a crapfest, but as soon as I see Goren and Eames, it is all over. The producers actually did me a favor when they took Goren and Eames out of the show. When they rotated weeks, I only watched their weeks. After they left the show, I stopped watching (now the rerun marathons on USA still suck me in at times). Now Goren and Eames are back for one last season, and you know I will be recording every last one of those episodes to watch in shame. Really, I don't like Goren. I did in the first few seasons, but the crazier and creepier the character became, the more he annoyed me. The character that actually gets me to tune in every ...