Ear Piercing and Ice Cream

When I went away to college, one of the agreements I made with my parents was no piercings and no tattoos (BTW I am the only child that kept that promise...Adam got in a MAJOR fight with mom about it and had to take his piercing out though). It is only fitting that one of the last things Mom and I did together was go to get my cartilage pierced.

I was home last Memorial Day weekend. Amy's car was dead. Adam's was in the shop. Both of them AND my mom were using the CRV. Adam took the CRV to work that Monday, and I had taken Amy to work (at Claires). I had been contemplating getting my cartilage re pierced ( I had it done once when I first moved to Indy, but I had taken it out and it healed quickly). My sister offered to do it for me and use her discount (remember: She works at Claires). I was going to early to pick her up from work and while I was there have her take care of my ear. Mom didn't have to go with me, but last minute she decided to come. We piled in to the Kia and headed to Fallen Timbers (aka the Poltergeist Mall...but that is another story for another day). She watched as I hesitantly let my sister use the piercing gun on my ear. We cashed out, and walked around the mall until the rain really started to come down.

As we left the mall, mom mentioned she really wanted ice cream. Of course, that meant  a stop at Mel-O-Creme on the way home. By the time we ordered and made it back to my car, it was pouring. I remember sitting there thinking that yeah, it sucked that all the cars were broken down, and that it was raining, but we had each other and our ice cream. That is all we really needed. Well that and to promise to *NOT* tell Dad we stopped for ice cream. We were happy...a little stressed (Amy had clogged the kitchen sink with rice...they had to remove part of the wall to fix it)..but happy. All the tough times, screaming matches and all the other drama (mostly from my teenage years) was gone. It felt good.

A week later, I was sitting in Marsh Funeral Home with my brother, sister and Kelsey (soon to be sister-in-law). The clothes I was wearing weren't mine. The jeans were her's. The shirt was my sister's. I'm not even sure I was to the point where I cared enough to put on make up. We don't want to talk about my hair and the glass I was pulling out of it no matter how many times I washed it. I was "living" in the not in use maternity ward (really...we had our own room AND they were feeding us) at Bay Park Hospital. Mom was gone.

Thursday, I was working a karaoke show and texting back and forth with her as we planned our family vacation (we were supposed to go to St Thomas for my birthday). Friday, I wasn't by her side, but I was talking with her about what was going on with Dad and the useless doctors at Fulton County by text. Saturday morning I defied her orders and came home anyway (literally called her AFTER I cleared Fort Wayne). Saturday night, she was gone. I was now planning her funeral.

This is my first Mother's Day without her. It sucks. I can't even call her. I can't promise to take her to breakfast on my next trip home to make up for not being there on the actual day.

My mom wasn't perfect. We had our differences, and there are some choices she made that still make me very angry with her. However, we had come a very long way since I was a teenager. For a few years, we were friends. I will always hold on to that feeling I had on that rainy Memorial Day afternoon in my car. That is the memory I will hold onto for the rest of my life.

Mama’s Losin’ It


angie said…
I'm so sorry that you lost your mom. It's terrible losing a parent isn't it? I love though that you have the vivid memory of her and you.Hugs!
Jessica said…
I am sorry you have to go through that, I can't imagine not having my mom esp on mother's day. Big Hug

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