Weight Loss, Self Image, and Jealousy

I didn't like how I looked. However, I wasn't doing enough to change it. Yeah, I dieted for my brother's wedding, but I never committed to making a true lifestyle change.

When Mark and I moved in together, I decided to make that happen. It wasn't just for me, it was also for him and for the girls. I wanted us to eat healthy. I wanted to commit to being more active.

I have been successful on both  counts. I have lost and kept off weight. I have gone down 2 pant sizes at my favorite store. While I have a long way to go to reach my goal, I see the progress.

That alone keeps me happy most of the time, but then there are the moments where it is just not enough.

It is the moments where I see my self in unflattering light at the hair salon next to my skinny  stylist.

It is the moments where the new pants are still a little snug.

It is in the moments where I do not like how any of my shirts fit.

It is in the moments where I can't find a swim suit that is flattering.

Those are the days I am just not feeling it. I don't feel attractive. I feel like I am not doing enough. I feel defeated. I am jealous of those who are dedicated enough to make the time to workout more. I am jealous of the people who don't have to worry about their work pants working with whatever shirt they decide to wear that day.

Instead of it pushing me to work harder, I just get stuck in a rut. It sucks, and I need to find a way to turn my attitude around.


Comments

bloominoctober said…
I want you to know that I'm super-proud of all you've accomplished. And I know there's far more success to come. I know that when you set your mind to something, you do whatever it takes to get there.

I also want you to know that you are incredibly beautiful. There's not a day that passes where I'm not in awe of you. You make me feel like the luckiest man alive, and I am so proud to have you on my arm.
5:19 PM
Unknown said…
http://thebloggess.com/2013/01/this-scale-is-an-asshole/

Do you follow this blog...if you, you should. She's a hoot!!
8:23 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Bottom Line

Image
Writing Prompts: 1.)  Six Word Memoir : Write about a significant time in your life in just six words. 2.) “One need not be a chamber to be haunted, One need not be a house. The brain has corridors surpassing material place”. -Emily Dickinson What haunts you? 3.) Describe a talent or flaw that seems to be in your genes. 4.) What are you passionate about? 5.) Comfort food at its finest. Share a family favorite recipe you loved as a child. Lets go with #4  Shall We? It has been an interesting ride over the past almost 32 years: I was a cute baby: I was an adorable toddler: I was a child with a bad perm: Police Radios were just a part of Christmas morning and family dinners : I had the "coolest car" I may have vandalized a friend's car with evidence tags and rubber gloves found in aforementioned cool car: I went to college: Moved Away and Made New Friends: I traveled: I even toured with a band: Bottom Line: No matter where I have gone, what...
Read more

Challenging Your Writing

Blogging is easy for me. In an attempt to start shaking up my writing, I decided to start doing a writing workshop and trying some new writing prompts. Trying to get my blog back up in shape has been harder than I thought it would be. I am feeling like writing again, but I need variety. It has been fun trying new topics. Still, I was always picking the safe ones. This week, the list came to my inbox and the one I was instantly drawn to was of course the easy one. However, there was another prompt that was nagging at me. "What I lack" Here is the deal: I don't want to always write about negative stuff. This would be a negative blog. That wasn't the worst of it. I knew it was a topic I would have a hard time putting into words. I don't want to be misunderstood, but I am just  not sure how to put some of these feelings in words I kept trying to convince myself it wasn't a good idea. I just couldn't shake it. I wrote the blog. It is far from the best thi...
Read more

What Does One Wear??

Image
On May 21, I am attending Methodist Theological Seminary of Ohio's Commencement. My mother was a student there, and she would have graduated this May. The college has decided to award her a posthumous degree. This is very kind, and we are honored they have decided to do this. Today I was trying to  figure out my plan for that day, when it occurred to me: What does one wear to accept a degree for their mother (who died nearly a year ago)? Well black doesn't seem fitting (and there goes half my wardrobe) It cannot be too short It cannot be to low cut (there goes most of the rest of my wardrobe). So what are my options? Very obviously this is not going to work: Maybe something like this, but not in Black? This had potential...until I noticed those were skulls not polka dots This has potential Then I was distracted by this (but....it is on sale!!) Okay...more like this? I just don't know...any suggestions?
Read more