We Made It A Year
As of just before midnight last night, we had officially made it through the first year of our relationship. It hasn't been rainbows and butterflies (or even unicorns), but it has been everything I hoped it would be.
It is hard to imagine I spent years looking for this happiness I wasn't even sure I deserved. I wanted someone who got me (and all of my quirkiness...and nine birds), and truly loved me. I did eventually find it. It just took me a while to get all the pieces in place.
Mark and I met a little over three years ago at a karaoke contest. He was a contestant. I was the judge and the photographer. We were at first just acquaintances, but over the next year or so we became friends.
About a year and a half ago we we started talking more. We were still just friends, but we were talking back and forth on Twitter. When Mom died, many people said they would always be there for me. Surprisingly he was one of the friends that stuck around once the worst of the shock wore off.
Then his last relationship ended. I was trying to return the favor and be a friend...and soon found myself in trouble.
I was falling for him. This was not good. 1) He had just had his heart stomped on. He wasn't sure if or how he would love again...and I am going to venture to say he may have hated life and people for the the most part. 2) Between Mom's death and Dad being in poor health, I wasn't exactly stable relationship material even if he was in a great place.
The summer came, and I tried to give him time and space. When I failed at that, I just tried to be patient. I knew it could be while before he was ready to start anything new. I also knew there was a chance (and at times it felt like a really good chance) that when he was ready to move on, it wouldn't be with me. I just had to wait and see what happened. I felt dumb at times for waiting. There were times I was sure that this was not going to end well for me. I was never as certain as the weekend my dad passed away. There was one other person I wanted to be there with me through all of that, and he wasn't there. Still I waited. (BTW: I have come to change my stance on this one. I would rather that he didn't meet my dad than see him like we was at Hospice).
Fall was where things started to change. We started spending more time together. I started spending more time with his family. Still he said nothing about us becoming a couple. It broke my heart to hear where his heart was and how he was feeling, but I stayed and listened. I tried not too hope too much. I wasn't just attached to him any more. Now I was getting attached to his whole family.
My brother's wedding was coming up, and I reluctantly asked him to go with me.I didn't want to go alone, but I wasn't sure if it would come across as pushing too hard. He agreed to go with me, and one year ago yesterday (after a long day of hair, make up, wedding and reception) he said he was falling for me.
Yay for the super happy moment (that I hoped was not brought on by the booze at the reception...thankfully it wasn't).
It has been an interesting year. We have had our moments. We have had struggles. He put my plastic Pampered Chef veggie steamer on the hot stove top instead of the microwave. Since we have moved in together, I am still learning to try and balance it all. I still feel like I am always running somewhere. I miss seeing my friends, and I still hate country music. He steals all the blankets from our bed (as we sleep). We don't agree on everything. I do things that drive him crazy too. Still I wouldn't trade our life for anything. It is exactly what I spent years looking for.
I can't wait to see what is next for us.I enjoy making him happy, and trying to make a home and a future together.
It is hard to imagine I spent years looking for this happiness I wasn't even sure I deserved. I wanted someone who got me (and all of my quirkiness...and nine birds), and truly loved me. I did eventually find it. It just took me a while to get all the pieces in place.
Mark and I met a little over three years ago at a karaoke contest. He was a contestant. I was the judge and the photographer. We were at first just acquaintances, but over the next year or so we became friends.
About a year and a half ago we we started talking more. We were still just friends, but we were talking back and forth on Twitter. When Mom died, many people said they would always be there for me. Surprisingly he was one of the friends that stuck around once the worst of the shock wore off.
Then his last relationship ended. I was trying to return the favor and be a friend...and soon found myself in trouble.
I was falling for him. This was not good. 1) He had just had his heart stomped on. He wasn't sure if or how he would love again...and I am going to venture to say he may have hated life and people for the the most part. 2) Between Mom's death and Dad being in poor health, I wasn't exactly stable relationship material even if he was in a great place.
The summer came, and I tried to give him time and space. When I failed at that, I just tried to be patient. I knew it could be while before he was ready to start anything new. I also knew there was a chance (and at times it felt like a really good chance) that when he was ready to move on, it wouldn't be with me. I just had to wait and see what happened. I felt dumb at times for waiting. There were times I was sure that this was not going to end well for me. I was never as certain as the weekend my dad passed away. There was one other person I wanted to be there with me through all of that, and he wasn't there. Still I waited. (BTW: I have come to change my stance on this one. I would rather that he didn't meet my dad than see him like we was at Hospice).
Fall was where things started to change. We started spending more time together. I started spending more time with his family. Still he said nothing about us becoming a couple. It broke my heart to hear where his heart was and how he was feeling, but I stayed and listened. I tried not too hope too much. I wasn't just attached to him any more. Now I was getting attached to his whole family.
My brother's wedding was coming up, and I reluctantly asked him to go with me.I didn't want to go alone, but I wasn't sure if it would come across as pushing too hard. He agreed to go with me, and one year ago yesterday (after a long day of hair, make up, wedding and reception) he said he was falling for me.
Yay for the super happy moment (that I hoped was not brought on by the booze at the reception...thankfully it wasn't).
It has been an interesting year. We have had our moments. We have had struggles. He put my plastic Pampered Chef veggie steamer on the hot stove top instead of the microwave. Since we have moved in together, I am still learning to try and balance it all. I still feel like I am always running somewhere. I miss seeing my friends, and I still hate country music. He steals all the blankets from our bed (as we sleep). We don't agree on everything. I do things that drive him crazy too. Still I wouldn't trade our life for anything. It is exactly what I spent years looking for.
I can't wait to see what is next for us.I enjoy making him happy, and trying to make a home and a future together.
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