Lessons Learned From My Parents
Have you ever had a lesson that had a dual punch. On one hand, you realize something that isn't so much bad but sobering. On the other hand, it shows that you actually learned something from the past and acted on it (with a positive result?)
That happened yesterday.
The cliche with women is we all become our mothers and we fall in love with someone like our father.
You can hope it really isn't true, but I do suspect that it does happen to a certain degree.
Yesterday, I realized that Mark is much more like Norm than I ever realized. For the record: He did nothing wrong (put away the baseball bats and pitchforks please). The details aren't as important as the lesson I learned. I had confirmation that we were in a situation that was similar to a part of their relationship I never want to emulate. It was just in the beginning phases and under COMPLETELY different circumstances, but it showed me traits in him that drove me crazy about my dad.
On the flip side I showed that I had learned from my mom's mistakes. I didn't just put my head in the sand and pretend I didn't see that there was a potential issue on the horizon. I was confident enough in our relationship to tell him what I was feeling, and how I did not want to make the same mistakes my parents made. There was no drama. I just gave him the facts. That opened the floor for us to talk about it and come up with a solution.
Is it Rainbows and Butterflies. No. We couldn't even try to dress it up and pass it off as a unicorn. It is still a win though. We won't always get it right, but we managed to do so this time. Relationships are hard. Some lessons have to be learned the hard way. Other times you can learn from the past (and even your parents), and make the right choices.
That happened yesterday.
The cliche with women is we all become our mothers and we fall in love with someone like our father.
You can hope it really isn't true, but I do suspect that it does happen to a certain degree.
Yesterday, I realized that Mark is much more like Norm than I ever realized. For the record: He did nothing wrong (put away the baseball bats and pitchforks please). The details aren't as important as the lesson I learned. I had confirmation that we were in a situation that was similar to a part of their relationship I never want to emulate. It was just in the beginning phases and under COMPLETELY different circumstances, but it showed me traits in him that drove me crazy about my dad.
On the flip side I showed that I had learned from my mom's mistakes. I didn't just put my head in the sand and pretend I didn't see that there was a potential issue on the horizon. I was confident enough in our relationship to tell him what I was feeling, and how I did not want to make the same mistakes my parents made. There was no drama. I just gave him the facts. That opened the floor for us to talk about it and come up with a solution.
Is it Rainbows and Butterflies. No. We couldn't even try to dress it up and pass it off as a unicorn. It is still a win though. We won't always get it right, but we managed to do so this time. Relationships are hard. Some lessons have to be learned the hard way. Other times you can learn from the past (and even your parents), and make the right choices.
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