Un-Met Expectations

Monday was my birthday.

We have the girls this week, so we weren't able to really celebrate it. We had plans to celebrate it Friday, but those plans are now pushed back to Saturday.

My expectation was that Mark would treat this like I would have had the roles been reversed. Had we not been able to celebrate on the actual day I would have: Made him his favorite dish for dinner. Made him a cake for the four of us to enjoy together.I would have held on to his gift so we could all be there when he opened it. I would  have had something fun planned for the evening to make up for not getting to really celebrate. I would still want to make the day special for him. I would have done all of this even if he wasn't not happy about having to push the celebration back.

My reality was very different.

I was woken up (after asking multiple times if he had enough time to take the girls to the sitter and being told no) to shuttle the girls to the sitter instead of being able to sleep in on my day off (sleep I desperately needed).

I spent the day looking for and assembling a lamp for the girls room, grocery shopping, finding new flip flops for the oldest girl, making a cake for myself, and being highly disappointed when it turned out to be treated like any other day. 

That's right. Nothing was done to make it special. I did receive a very nice gift, but it was left on the couch for me to  open by myself.

I was pretty disappointed. Yes, we had plans for Friday, but a little something would have been nice.

I didn't go through all that work to make myself a cake just for kicks. I wanted us to all enjoy it together. I didn't cook that night, but I am the one who ordered and paid for the pizza. There were no cheap flowers (if for no other reason for waking me up to shuttle the kids because he miscalculated the time), or a fun anything planned. I spent the night playing crossword puzzles on my Nook. 

1) I was already disappointed we had to push it back because it made the party too close to 7/24 for my liking. Actually 7/21 is a year to the date I had to rush home because of Dad's condition.
2) I wanted to celebrate it as a family
3) I wanted to celebrate it with just the 2 of us, even if it was a small gesture.

He says he's sorry and that he feels badly for dropping the ball. I'm not really mad anymore, but there is still that twinge of disappointment. My feelings are still hurt.  Even with that there is a point where holding it over his head isn't going to fix the situation. It is just going to keep my hurt feelings raw and open and make him resentful. He said he's sorry. What else can he do?

Sometimes you just have to suck it up and move on. Deal with the hurt feelings on your own and hope that the lesson has been learned. 


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