I Knew This Was Going to be Tough

I really do sort of suck at this.

I love his girls, and I do not doubt that they love me. They are really great kids, but we had a rough weekend. I can't seem to fully recover from it.  It hasn't been a total disaster. I really hasn't, but it has left me feeling very discouraged.

I bought them toys. I bought them because I wanted to. I want them to have things to play with while they are here. I want them to be happy here. I am not looking for heaps of praise, but a thank you would be nice.

I am not trying to be their mom. They already have a mom that loves them very much. At the same time, I am not their friend.  They have to learn this. This past weekend I was almost in tears several times because no matter what I did, his girls (and their cousins we were watching) refused to listen to anything I said. Most times they just pretended like I didn't even say anything. I actually preferred that to when they would talk back to me. I'm an adult. This is my house too. They have to learn to respect that. No child is going to listen every time. Lets be honest, if we get 50% that is surprising. However, I could tell the three times to do something and be totally ignored. Dad said it once and they would listen. That has to stop.

Tonight I spent over an hour on a healthy dinner both children didn't want. It was a dinner I ended up eating alone. I want all of us to eat right...even if it isn't exactly what they want.

I wasn't expecting a walk in the park, but this has made an already emotional time harder.

I know they aren't a fan of all my rules. I made healthy snack bags for the weekend instead of letting them eat chips and junk food. Instead of letting the go wild with the Mio, I made them ration flavor packets for their water. I won't reward them for bad behavior. I will take away things they aren't taking care of. I will keep anything they leave on the floor or under the bed when I go to vacuum and dust their room. I figure if it wasn't important to pick up, they won't miss it. If they do, it isn't my problem. They are both old enough where they can start to be held accountable for their choices and actions.

Even with the discouragement, I know that in time things will get better. I will adapt. They will adapt. Life will go on. That is what I am going to have to focus on.


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