Missing and Gaining

Today, I really miss my dad. I am not sure why, but today is one of those days where I am constantly reminded of him.

On one hand, it is sad. On the other hand it comes at a time where I know I am starting to heal.

I have never been a all about me kind of girl. I like taking care of people. I would feel guilty about buying clothes or doing other things for myself.

Since Mom died it isn't just feeling guilty. Most of the time I just didn't care about taking care of me. I didn't feel like I had a reason for new clothes...even as lost wieght and my clothes became too big and not flattering. Cheap make up was just fine. Why did I need stuff for the apartment if I never had anyone over. Dad was my number one priority and he was really the only person I cared about.

I am starting to care about me again. Losing Dad was hard, and I miss him and I miss him and Mom every day. I will never regret the time I spent making him my life. He deserved it, and more than I had to give. However, I know it is time to start being me again...and to take care of me again.

I like feeling like me again.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Bottom Line

Image
Writing Prompts: 1.)  Six Word Memoir : Write about a significant time in your life in just six words. 2.) “One need not be a chamber to be haunted, One need not be a house. The brain has corridors surpassing material place”. -Emily Dickinson What haunts you? 3.) Describe a talent or flaw that seems to be in your genes. 4.) What are you passionate about? 5.) Comfort food at its finest. Share a family favorite recipe you loved as a child. Lets go with #4  Shall We? It has been an interesting ride over the past almost 32 years: I was a cute baby: I was an adorable toddler: I was a child with a bad perm: Police Radios were just a part of Christmas morning and family dinners : I had the "coolest car" I may have vandalized a friend's car with evidence tags and rubber gloves found in aforementioned cool car: I went to college: Moved Away and Made New Friends: I traveled: I even toured with a band: Bottom Line: No matter where I have gone, what
Read more

Summer To Do List

view more detailed instructions on how this weekly meme works, check out the  Writer’s Workshop  FAQs. Writing Prompts: 1.) List 10 things you wish you could say to strangers who share unsolicited advice about your parenting skills. 2.) Write a poem inspired by a picture you took last week. Share both! 3.) Create a bucket list of 50 things you want to do this summer (with or without the kids!) 4.) A country you would like to visit. 5.) What is something you could stand to learn from your significant other? After much deliberation, we are going with prompt 3 Let's see how this goes I will get a tan...it will take all summer,  but I can do it I will spend more time with my friends I will go to Cedar Point I will have a non-craptastic birthday I will grow out my hair no matter how hot and miserable I get I will go to Chicago just to shop up at Clark and Belmont I will run every day that I can...even when it is balls hot  I will take at least one friend home with me to meet my
Read more

Best Laid Plans

I sat down and crafted a list of blog topics last night, and the plan was start working through that list tonight. It was going to be the start of a true reboot of this old thing. While I had planned on picking my stepdaughter up at the Boys and Girls Club after work I didn't plan on: 1) The amazon parrot needing me to make a food stop on the way home 2) My stepdaugher wanting me to watch her practice for color guard 3) That working on our budget would take nearly as long as it did. 4) Being this exhausted for no particular reason Now I sit here with a basset hound in my lap, and I am awkwardly trying to type on my laptop without disturbing him. This won't  be the blog I wanted to write tonight. It won't  be carefully crafted. That blog post will have to wait. Sometimes  you have to roll with the unexpected. Sometime you have to focus on what is really important. That means acknowledging that you have to make sure your priorities are in check. Sometimes you ha
Read more