Choices

A few months ago, I was faced with a choice.

Option 1: Be selfish. Keep pushing what I wanted.

Option 2: Be patient. Be a good friend. See what happens.

Option 3: Just walk away.

Option 1 results: May have had quicker results, but even if I got what I wanted it would probably end with me losing a great friend.

Option 2 results: Could turn out great...could be disappointing. No promises, no guarantees and 100% honesty. Regardless, I would still have my friend in the end.

Option 3 results: Probably get to keep my friend, but always left to wonder about the possibilities. Keep myself and my heart protected.

After a pretty sleepless night on a couch in Anderson, I knew I had to make a choice. I was falling for him despite all my efforts not to. I really had tried. The timing was *all* wrong.

I had spent so much time keeping myself safe...did I want to put myself out there again? There were no guarantees...and I had no idea how things would end. Your heart can't be broken unless you let it. You can't be hurt if you stay behind your wall. I actually liked it that way. Now, I had to decide if I was going to leave my comfort zone.

Was it worth the risk?

I knew by the end of that week I was going with option 2.

The details aren't as important as the lesson here. If you truly care about someone: Put them and what they want first. Listen. Be patient. Know when to not take things personally. If they need space or time, give it to them.  Don't push too hard, and never give an ultimatum.  If you aren't okay with both (and or any) of the outcomes, you need to walk away. I knew there were two ways this could end, and while one would hurt, I knew it would be okay.

Again I ask: was it worth the risk? Yes it was.

Did my patience and persistence pay off? Yes it did. Even if it hadn't, I would at least not have the regret of not trying.

I never doubted he was worth the risk. Yes, there were sleepless nights, tears, self doubt (self esteem wise) and fears along the way. However, the happiness I feel now makes it all worth it. It isn't just that he makes me happy (which he does...he can make me smile like no one else ever has), the way my life has changed over the past few months makes me feel "normal" again. I feel like I did before the tornado but happier. His  family has made me feel so welcome (even before we were officially together), and my family loves him after just one weekend (where technically we were still just friends for most of it). It just feels so right.

I am excited to start this new chapter in my life...yeah most girls would have settled for a mass text or just making it "Facebook official" but I'll I'd rather have it "blog official."

Comments

Kanga said…
Love this! So happy for you both!!
Liz said…
This is so nice. I am so HAPPY for both of you. You guys make each other happy. That is a good thing.

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