30 Day Challenge Day 4: Your Parents

I've been looking at a blank screen for 2 hours...I can't come up with the words for this prompt today :-(

Instead I am going to recycle from my other blog...

It was Labor Day weekend. I had gone home to see dad, and while I was there I stopped by the cemetery. This visit started like most others:

1) Park the car
2) Talk myself out of the car
3) Stand there for a minute until I'm ready to talk

This time I didn't just talk. I yelled. It wasn't fair.  I didn't know what I was doing. I had no idea how we were going to pay for things once the insurance stopped paying. I couldn't find things I needed to find. Despite some valiant efforts from some great people, my first birthday without her was awful. Her choices and mistakes were now on our shoulders. I was mad.

I was mad at my dad too. He is still alive, but with the stroke things had changed. He will always be my Dad, but the parent dynamic isn't the same. He can't get out and take care of his own business, so now his issues are our issues too.

When You Lose a Parent: At some point, you will be angry with your parent. You will be angry with them for leaving you. It sounds crazy, but it will happen.
When you have a sick parent: The same applies. They are still alive. They aren't gone. You always hear the cliché that our parents take care of us when we are little and we take care of them when they are old. Well when "old" comes, and you aren't ready, it is a lot to take in.

These feelings are natural, and may be more or less severe in your case. They are very real, and as cheesy as it sounds, I really couldn't move on until I forgave them. Actually, I have to keep forgiving them. Even the best parents leave messes and create situations that make us mad. Be angry. You have a right to be, but don't let it bog you down.


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