What is your Motivation

Why do you do nice things for people? What is the pay off? Why do you care?

I'm good at taking care of people. Really, I am. I get this odd joy out of being a good friend. I want my friends to be happy. It kills me to watch anyone I care about go through a rough time. I will be there in a heartbeat to be supportive. I will go out of my way to help. I will rearrange things to make a situation work. I'm not just saying that to point out "good stuff" I do. I honestly get joy from seeing the people in my life being safe, happy, and cared for. If I offer to do you favor, there typically isn't any malicious intent. I really just want to help. I may not have much to offer the world, but I can at least take care of my friends and family.

Then I see other people who at the surface seem to be on the same page. However, when I look a little closer I see their true intentions. They don't so much care about the people they are helping, but how it makes them look. Don't get me wrong, we all have our weaker/selfish moments where we may do things for less than honorable reasons. I'm talking about habitual offenders here. Yes they may do some good, but it is just a side effect of how it is benefitting them.

What baffles me is: How do so many people away with it? Again, at first glance it looks all above board. Still, after a while someone should start to notice it really is all about them. How come it doesn't backfire? I know that 99% of the time when I have selfish moments it does not end well for me. Something always goes awry and it comes back to haunt me. Maybe it comes back to haunt them too, their concious just doesn't punish them (like mine does).

Maybe I am too nice. Maybe I let people get away with too much. I would rather have that be the case than to have my friends question my motives.

Comments

Unknown said…
I was JUST talking about this with one of my friends this weekend...she didn't understand why X did all these things for me when my parent was sick but nothing when it was her parent. After discussion I told her that her that I'm fairly certain that her intentions are not sound and that she does things for appearance. Sorry you are forced to deal with this:( But don't let it change you...people appreciate all that you do for them, even if they don't tell you!
8:14 AM
Unknown said…
Thanks. This has been bugging me for a while. I think what set me off yesterday is when I heard one of these habitual offender types acting all hurt because someone actually called her out and said she was self centered. All these people came running to her defense and I was annoyed.
9:03 AM
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