The War Zone

My life will never be the same. I have to move on, but there is so much I have to do and I feel like there will never be enough time. It is like I have entered a battlefield.

Last week, I would have given anything to make it through one day with out more bad news. I'm tired, stressed and overwhelmed, but I have to believe it will get better.

My mom spent years doing what she had to do to keep our family together. It wasn't easy, and she almost lost the battle a few times. Now I feel like it has fallen to me.

It isn't like she just passed the baton. I was not even in the race. I wasn't on the track, Hell, I was still in the stands, but now it is my turn.I am not a fan.

1) I am 4 hours away and I feel helpless. I handle the paperwork and the lawyer...and help Amy search for jobs.
2) I wish my sister didn't feel like she was having every thing taken from her. Her pets and home are up in the air at the moment.
3) I wish my brother would stop thinking he is running the show and start actually helping us. Remembering to buy dad socks shouldn't be a huge issue. I dread going to Woodville Sunday because I know I will have to clean up his mess. If he wants to be part of this, be there with us. Sometimes I feel like he is too busy focusing on starting his new life to be bothered with all of this. I know he is grieving, but I just feel like he isn't part of this effort.
4) I wish that the media hadn't been so intrusive
5) I wish dad's so called friends would stop stealing from him...and he would stop letting them.
6) I wish I knew what to say to make things better.
7) I wish Fulton County Hadn't screwed up...plain and simple

I need to know how to fix this...and I have no idea how. I don't know where to start. I don't know who to ask for help (no for lack of offers but out of I don't know what to ask for). I still have to hope I can make this work..for all of us.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Bottom Line

Image
Writing Prompts: 1.)  Six Word Memoir : Write about a significant time in your life in just six words. 2.) “One need not be a chamber to be haunted, One need not be a house. The brain has corridors surpassing material place”. -Emily Dickinson What haunts you? 3.) Describe a talent or flaw that seems to be in your genes. 4.) What are you passionate about? 5.) Comfort food at its finest. Share a family favorite recipe you loved as a child. Lets go with #4  Shall We? It has been an interesting ride over the past almost 32 years: I was a cute baby: I was an adorable toddler: I was a child with a bad perm: Police Radios were just a part of Christmas morning and family dinners : I had the "coolest car" I may have vandalized a friend's car with evidence tags and rubber gloves found in aforementioned cool car: I went to college: Moved Away and Made New Friends: I traveled: I even toured with a band: Bottom Line: No matter where I have gone, what...
Read more

Challenging Your Writing

Blogging is easy for me. In an attempt to start shaking up my writing, I decided to start doing a writing workshop and trying some new writing prompts. Trying to get my blog back up in shape has been harder than I thought it would be. I am feeling like writing again, but I need variety. It has been fun trying new topics. Still, I was always picking the safe ones. This week, the list came to my inbox and the one I was instantly drawn to was of course the easy one. However, there was another prompt that was nagging at me. "What I lack" Here is the deal: I don't want to always write about negative stuff. This would be a negative blog. That wasn't the worst of it. I knew it was a topic I would have a hard time putting into words. I don't want to be misunderstood, but I am just  not sure how to put some of these feelings in words I kept trying to convince myself it wasn't a good idea. I just couldn't shake it. I wrote the blog. It is far from the best thi...
Read more

What Does One Wear??

Image
On May 21, I am attending Methodist Theological Seminary of Ohio's Commencement. My mother was a student there, and she would have graduated this May. The college has decided to award her a posthumous degree. This is very kind, and we are honored they have decided to do this. Today I was trying to  figure out my plan for that day, when it occurred to me: What does one wear to accept a degree for their mother (who died nearly a year ago)? Well black doesn't seem fitting (and there goes half my wardrobe) It cannot be too short It cannot be to low cut (there goes most of the rest of my wardrobe). So what are my options? Very obviously this is not going to work: Maybe something like this, but not in Black? This had potential...until I noticed those were skulls not polka dots This has potential Then I was distracted by this (but....it is on sale!!) Okay...more like this? I just don't know...any suggestions?
Read more