I’m afraid to buy a house

Last May, I moved into a renovated apartment in my complex. I like my apartment. I do. It is nice and has new appliances. I love where I live because of the location. I work downtown and my other job and my friends live in the north suburbs. I sometimes wish I lived more in the city, but that is a price I pay for the life I choose to live. My lease is up in May, and I have decided that we need more room. I've looked at other apartments, and I can't seem to find one I like. A few months ago, there were tons of rental homes in my neighborhood but now the only ones available are more than I want to spend on a rental. If I am going to pay that much for a 2 bedroom, I'd rather pay a mortgage.

That leaves me with 2 options. Stay here for another year or buy a house…and that second option scares the hell out of me.

Most people know my biggest fear is getting pregnant…followed by being a parent…next on that list is homeowner ship.

  1. Can I afford it? I live alone. I sort of like living alone. If I get a "roommate" which is a pretty viable option, they have to be okay with the fids and be responsible. I refuse to mother any more adults. I can pick up more freelance work and increase my income that way. I had always thought I would buy a home after my student loan was paid off. It will be in five years. That would free up more money too. I am just afraid that a mortgage payment may be more than I can handle.
  2. Okay even if I can afford a mortgage, will I be approved for enough to buy a house in my neighborhood? I want to basically stay in the area I am living in, but I know that will come with a higher price tag.
  3. Buying a house is a huge commitment. It means I will have resigned to the fact that I will be living here for a while. I know each of my attempts to move away have been thwarted. Maybe I should take that as a sign. My heart says this isn't where I belong, but maybe it is. Everyday I'm looking to see where I fit in, and while I find some close fits nothing is just right. I may be foolish, but I just don't want to let go of the idea that there is more for me out there. In my mind buying a house would be me giving up on all of it. Then again may be it is just time to grow up and face the music.

So what do I do?

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