30 Day Challenge Day 4: Your Parents

I've been looking at a blank screen for 2 hours...I can't come up with the words for this prompt today :-(




Instead I am going to recycle from my other blog...



It was Labor Day weekend. I had gone home to see dad, and while I was there I stopped by the cemetery. This visit started like most others:

1) Park the car
2) Talk myself out of the car
3) Stand there for a minute until I'm ready to talk

This time I didn't just talk. I yelled. It wasn't fair.  I didn't know what I was doing. I had no idea how we were going to pay for things once the insurance stopped paying. I couldn't find things I needed to find. Despite some valiant efforts from some great people, my first birthday without her was awful. Her choices and mistakes were now on our shoulders. I was mad.

I was mad at my dad too. He is still alive, but with the stroke things had changed. He will always be my Dad, but the parent dynamic isn't the same. He can't get out and take care of his own business, so now his issues are our issues too.

When You Lose a Parent: At some point, you will be angry with your parent. You will be angry with them for leaving you. It sounds crazy, but it will happen.
When you have a sick parent: The same applies. They are still alive. They aren't gone. You always hear the cliché that our parents take care of us when we are little and we take care of them when they are old. Well when "old" comes, and you aren't ready, it is a lot to take in.

These feelings are natural, and may be more or less severe in your case. They are very real, and as cheesy as it sounds, I really couldn't move on until I forgave them. Actually, I have to keep forgiving them. Even the best parents leave messes and create situations that make us mad. Be angry. You have a right to be, but don't let it bog you down.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Bottom Line

Image
Writing Prompts: 1.)  Six Word Memoir : Write about a significant time in your life in just six words. 2.) “One need not be a chamber to be haunted, One need not be a house. The brain has corridors surpassing material place”. -Emily Dickinson What haunts you? 3.) Describe a talent or flaw that seems to be in your genes. 4.) What are you passionate about? 5.) Comfort food at its finest. Share a family favorite recipe you loved as a child. Lets go with #4  Shall We? It has been an interesting ride over the past almost 32 years: I was a cute baby: I was an adorable toddler: I was a child with a bad perm: Police Radios were just a part of Christmas morning and family dinners : I had the "coolest car" I may have vandalized a friend's car with evidence tags and rubber gloves found in aforementioned cool car: I went to college: Moved Away and Made New Friends: I traveled: I even toured with a band: Bottom Line: No matter where I have gone, what
Read more

Challenging Your Writing

Blogging is easy for me. In an attempt to start shaking up my writing, I decided to start doing a writing workshop and trying some new writing prompts. Trying to get my blog back up in shape has been harder than I thought it would be. I am feeling like writing again, but I need variety. It has been fun trying new topics. Still, I was always picking the safe ones. This week, the list came to my inbox and the one I was instantly drawn to was of course the easy one. However, there was another prompt that was nagging at me. "What I lack" Here is the deal: I don't want to always write about negative stuff. This would be a negative blog. That wasn't the worst of it. I knew it was a topic I would have a hard time putting into words. I don't want to be misunderstood, but I am just  not sure how to put some of these feelings in words I kept trying to convince myself it wasn't a good idea. I just couldn't shake it. I wrote the blog. It is far from the best thi
Read more

What Does One Wear??

Image
On May 21, I am attending Methodist Theological Seminary of Ohio's Commencement. My mother was a student there, and she would have graduated this May. The college has decided to award her a posthumous degree. This is very kind, and we are honored they have decided to do this. Today I was trying to  figure out my plan for that day, when it occurred to me: What does one wear to accept a degree for their mother (who died nearly a year ago)? Well black doesn't seem fitting (and there goes half my wardrobe) It cannot be too short It cannot be to low cut (there goes most of the rest of my wardrobe). So what are my options? Very obviously this is not going to work: Maybe something like this, but not in Black? This had potential...until I noticed those were skulls not polka dots This has potential Then I was distracted by this (but....it is on sale!!) Okay...more like this? I just don't know...any suggestions?
Read more